Perfectionism and procrastination A compulsive drive to be flawless and the setting of unattainably high standards and goals (perfectionism) often goes hand in hand with imposter syndrome. Perfectionism is then combined with harsh self-criticism and disappointment and dissatisfaction when you are unable to reach those impossible ideals. I class myself as a ‘recovering perfectionist’. Some psychologists believe there is a…
Emotional intelligence skills you need The situation now With more businesses getting ready to invite people back into the office, some already being back in, and more getting their offices ready for hybrid working, this next phase of adjustment to new ways of working is set to be especially emotionally challenging. We’ve all become accustomed to being a bit more…
Another way in which I see ‘not good enough’ showing up is when clients feel as if they are about to be found out – for not being ‘good enough. They feel they don’t really ‘belong’, that they are a ‘fraud’, or that they don’t actually deserve the role they have their accomplishments or the recognition they’ve received. Even the…
I’m not good enough This is the most common underlying fear among my clients, and it’s the biggest and most difficult to overcome. Gone unchallenged, this belief will seriously limit the extent to which you truly live your life, and will hold you back from achieving your goals and dreams. The feeling that you’re not good enough is one that…
Because difficult emotions can be so unpleasant we often try and rid ourselves of them as quickly as possible (I know I did). But we can choose to change our emotions – even the difficult ones. If you do this, you will dramatically change your life. These difficult or ‘negative’ emotions are the ones we all experience at one time…
Feel stuck and depressed The knowledge that in any given moment we all actually have a choice was the first major realization I gained through my own experience of coaching. Up until that time, possibly like you, I felt that I was at the mercy of certain things in my life. I really thought that there were many circumstances that…
Conversation with future self You know those articles where they ask celebrities what advice they would give their 20-year-old self? Well, this is the equivalent, only you get all of that great advice and wisdom from yourself in the future – right now. ‘Future Self’ is a great tool and I have been using it with my clients ever since…
Self sabotaging behaviour In the first few years of our lives, we learn the ‘rules’ of how to behave and think in a way that allows us to survive. This is the time when we learn what we should do, what we can’t do, what we have to do, in order to be accepted, loved, to belong, and to receive…
How to improve leadership communication? Well, it turns out – quite a lot! The atmosphere at work is not always good. Competition, different attitudes or bad manners challenge people’s patience. Other behaviours that create a negative workplace include distrust and resistance to change. However, the heart of the issue often stems from a lack of leadership from the top. How…
Why does fear exist CONQUER From the Latin conquirere meaning to ‘gain, or ‘win’; to successfully overcome, take control of. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What would you do if you weren’t so afraid? And what would you do if you didn’t care what people thought? This chapter is all about revealing the fears…