BBC Radio Guernsey Clip

Dave:

Talking about this back to school syndrome. I don’t know about you. I’m just feeling a bit. I just felt it the last week, like this nervous anticipation of something, and I’m looking in the diary and there’s nothing. I mean, it’s just, you know what I mean? But after years spent in the school system, we’re mentally programmed to get ready for new beginnings in September, and this lasts long into adulthood. We’re talking to leadership and life coach Sue Belton, who joins us live. Hey Sue.

Sue:

Good morning. So you’ve got it. You’ve got it already.

Dave:

I’ve got the little jitters. Yeah. Because I used to be terrible when I used to do school or college or uni, this feeling that you get towards the end of the last week of the summer holidays, you get this feeling towards this bank holiday weekend.

Sue:

Yeah. This is it. And this is your brain just doing it all unconsciously. Like you said, you didn’t know. It was like, “What’s going on?” This is what happened. It’s amazing, happening in your brain right now, change.

Dave:

What studies have been done into this Sue?

Sue:

Yes. So basically psychologists have looked at this whole area of brain science, which shows that because if you think about it, it’s your formative years, we have all been programmed. We’ve all had a summer holiday off and then come the beginning of September, off we trot back into a new school year, maybe a new school. You think about when you went to secondary school or when you went to college when you went to university. September is hardwired, your brain is getting you ready for new beginnings, new people, new places. And the thing is, if you don’t have those coming, your brain will do all it can to create newness. So this is when you can typically see people go right and jacking in the job, I’m getting rid of the boyfriend, the girlfriend, I want to move house. This is what happens, that’s the downside of it if you don’t know what that’s going on.

Dave:

And maybe even more so this year Sue, because everyone’s had a bit more time with the lockdown period we’ve been through to evaluate where they live, do they like their house? They’re spending more time with their partner, do they really like them? Do you know what I mean? There’s a lot that’s been going through our minds.

Sue:

Yeah. Well actually, there is really different this September because of what’s happening, COVID. So as well as the initial anxiety fear, all of the horrible sides of what’s happened, as you said, loads of us have gone, “Actually, there were things about lockdown that I like.” And it’s forced a lot of us into the equivalent of midlife crisis or, as psychologist call it, self-actualization, where our true selves, what we truly want to be living and how we really want to be living starts coming up to the fore, and it’s chucked a load of people into that.

Sue:

So if lockdown has made you really think and done some internal digging around then, now is the time to act on that. But it’s really important to be looking at internally what’s going on and is this right for me? Versus just the sticking past just to soothe that edgy itch that you’ve got, that you talked about.

Dave:

So we were in this situation at the minute where we’re thinking about going back to school. Where’s the school bags, how do we do a pat lunch again, all of that sort of thing? You catch up on homework, we’ve got all that on the go, might be a good opportunity to grab your book because you’ve recently published a book called, Change Your Life in Five. What does that help us with? Tell us a bit about it.

Sue:

Yeah. I mean, obviously, I wrote this before lockdown before the whole situation happened. And it’s based on, I’ve been a coach for 12 years now, so I’ve been working with people who come to me, they don’t come for a pleasant conversation. They come because they’re in that crisis stage of in a life that no longer really works for them or it doesn’t fit for them. They know they want to change something, but they don’t know why they’ve got that itch as you say, but on a deeper level and for a longer period of
time.

Sue:

So I’ve developed a five-step process, and you can see that in the book if you get the book, there are five distinct chapters that will take you through how to discover what is the best life for you, why you feel the way you do, why you feel this underlying itch, and then what to practically do about it. So there are five key steps to do that within the book.

Dave:

And you feel it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “Right I’m going to change my mindset. I’m going to try and do something to make a bit of a difference to how I feel.” It’s quite possible, is it?

Sue:

It’s absolutely possible. And this is where neuroscience or brain science comes in. It’s been shown that you can teach an old dog new tricks, but then how old you are, James.

Dave:

I’m 35.

Sue:

Oh, you’re so young. You’re the prime age actually forgetting that deeper itch thinking, actually, is this what I want to do with my life? You are the prime age. Yeah, 35, 36 is the prime time, but you can absolutely teach an old dog new tricks.

Dave:

The works, you never know.

Sue:

You never know.

Dave:

Yeah, that’s good, and changing your mindset is good. And also, what tools do you offer for coaching your clients to make sure they capitalize in this newfound thirst for change? Because the problem is, you can rush into change, make the wrong decision, and then you’re in a bit of a mess. So it’s about making the right decisions, isn’t it?

Sue:

Yeah. And this is what I say, “Real, meaningful change, the right wise change versus the rush decision, it’s an inside job.” So it’s really about looking at, “Okay, what am I not satisfied with? What’s important? What am I not getting? What’s important to me in my life? What’s this about? What do I
really want?”

Sue:

It takes a bit of digging, but you can get all these exercises in my first chat to do this initial bit, and you can get that free from my website. But really do a value clarification, what’s really important to me, excuse me, James. And also the key is what are the limiting beliefs that are holding me back? So what are the things that I’ve been told by my parents that I can’t do, that I shouldn’t do? What’s not possible for me? The stuff we’re told by teachers, culture, really distinguishing those and separating them out from who you are and what you really want in your life.

Sue:

So it’s best to spend a bit of time and a bit of energy doing that rather than very expensive mistakes, which I’ve seen. And I’ve worked with people who’ve made very expensive mistakes, they’ve jacked in the career, retrained to do something else and, a year down the line, a hundred grand down the line of lost income and training, they’ve gone, “Oh, this is not for me.” So you’ve got to be careful out there. Yeah.

Dave:

Yeah. Incredible. I love this. Sue, your new book is called, Change Your Life in Five. Sue Belton. Thank you for speaking to us. Sue, what’s your website by the way, if someone wants to reach out to you?

Sue:

Well, it’s very easy. It’s suebelton.com.

Dave:

All right, suebelton.com. Thank you, Sue, it’s a pleasure to speak and hope you have a lovely bank holiday.

Sue:

Thank you, James, see you, bye.

Dave:

Thanks for joining us. Thought-provoking stuff, isn’t it?

 

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