I think it’s time to rebrand the ‘midlife crisis’.
I like to call it ‘waking up’, and I see this as a completely positive life stage to go through. Or rather it can be. If you know what’s going on under the surface. If you use this time in your life to question, re-evaluate, and do some challenging work around redesigning your life the way you really want it to be, you will get to enjoy many more fulfilling years.
This is when people come to me for coaching. My guess is that this is why you are reading this book. You know that things just don’t feel right, your unhappy and you just don’t know what you do want, or you do know deep down, but just don’t feel it’s possible. Well, I’m here to tell you the same thing I tell all of my clients – whatever you truly want (even if you don’t know what that is right now), is possible.
Not only is it possible, but you can also have it. It will take some serious questioning, a lot of courage, and some hard work to get you from where you are now to the place that will make you feel truly happy, satisfied and fulfilled, but trust me, it’s worth it.
You only have to look around you to see the effects on people who have not faced up to these questions and actually taken action.
It takes a lot of courage and hard work to face up the big questions at this stage in your life.
If you do not listen to the questions, thoughts and reflections you are now experiencing and which have encouraged you to read this book – you will be faced with many decades of regret, resentment, boredom and anger. An incredible book that brings this point home is The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie Ware. Bronnie is a nurse who worked in palliative care for several years and wrote about what she learned from working with her patients. She undertook a series of interviews with patients and went on to compile a list of their top five regrets:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard, and so much.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings more.
- I wish I’d been better at staying in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Wow, what a list.
The one that hit me the most the first time I read it was number two: ‘I wish I hadn’t worked so hard, and so much.’ This is something I am working on at the moment, as it is a regret I definitely do not want to feel on my deathbed, and one that I know I will if I don’t take action.
I have struggled with this for a long time and am now consciously working fewer hours, taking more time to relax and enjoy life, and spending a lot more time with friends and family. I have turned off almost all the app notifications on my phone; I am taking more time out to do fun things with my daughter (rather than fitting in ‘just one more hour of work’); and also forcing myself to take more rest days and to spend more time, out in nature, with my boyfriend and friends. How about you?
You can absolutely change your future.
You do not need to be one of those people with the regrets listed on the previous pages – you do have a choice. It’s my life purpose to show you that there is a different way to live and that it can be exactly how you want it to be.
To change your life will take great courage and hard work, but with this awareness, together with the positive actions that this book suggests, you can start designing the life you were meant to live. If you completed the exercise on pages 18–21, you have already made a start). If you don’t yet know what your ‘ideal life’ actually looks like, then read on so you can start to clarify now.
Your ideal life
You only get one life. This is it. Seriously, I think this vitally important fact becomes lost in the reality and grind of everyday life. Whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs, this is the only life you have right now. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions: Is what you are doing right now, and the path you’re on, it for you? Is what you are doing right now fulfilling? Does your life bring you joy? Are you living the dreams and goals you had as a teenager or in your early 20s; has it all panned out as you imagined?
My guess is not, and my guess is, as you’re reading this book, that deep down you know there must be more, or at least you hope there is. Even on a day-to-day basis – is this really how you want to be living your life – for the next 20, 30 or 40 years?
Need help redesigning your life + career? There are a few ways I can do that
- To get clear on what you do and don’t want in your life + career moving forward, get my book Change Your Life in 5 for free now (just pay P+P). Click here
- Ready to get unstuck in just one hour – and moving forward into the next phase of your life? Book a power-hour Reset Session with me now click here
- If you’re ready to do more in-depth or longer-term work on redesigning your life + career, I’ve opened up a few slots for working with me 1-1. Book your free Discovery Call with me by clicking here and find out how I can help.
- If you are interested in Leadership (including remote leadership) + Executive Coaching for you or your team, find out more about my unique Conscious Leader programme by clicking here
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