My Top 5 Tips to a more fulfilled meaningful life
Do you ever ask yourself “what am I doing with my life? Is this it?”
It’s natural and normal to reflect on your life. Hopefully you feel content and happy with where you are, and where you’re going. But sometimes, darker feelings arise.
Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions?
How did I end up here?
What am I doing with my life?
Is this it?
I’ve been coaching since 2007. Since then, every single one of my clients has said at least one of these sentences to me in our very first meeting.
They usually come to see me thinking that they need a new career. A milestone birthday has been and gone and they are dissatisfied. Something is not right. They presume their career is the culprit, but then we start talking and they realise it’s not the job that is to blame for their case of the blues. It’s their whole life.
Why am I so unsatisfied? I am feeling bored with myself and my life
If you’re feeling like my clients have done; bored, unfulfilled and dissatisfied, it may be that you’re experiencing “individuation”; the beginning of the process of self-actualisation coined by Carl Jung.
If you listen very carefully, you’ll hear a tiny voice inside you which is trying very hard to get your attention. It’s this voice which is grumbling in your head as you stack the dishwasher, jump on the Tube or write yet another report for your boss. This tiny voice is your true self.
Your true self has been buried for a while. In the course of growing up, maybe raising a family and climbing the career ladder you’ve been able to silence it with the added pounds on your pay check, or the soft feel of your toddler’s arms around your neck. But the pile of pounds has become meaningless, and the sweet toddler is a stroppy teen or has left home. Now that dissatisfied voice – your true self – is shouting at you louder and louder; whenever you’ll listen.
Listen to it and you can feel truly fulfilled and satisfied. You can discover your true potential, feel happy and live a more fulfilled and meaningful life. But how?
How do I change my life? I’ve got a well-paid job, a mortgage and bills to pay. I can’t just jack it all in!
Don’t worry. I’m not going to suggest that you trek to faraway lands and while away your years in a yoga pose atop a verdant valley. But you can ask yourself some searching questions and you can start your journey towards a happier life. Here’s how:
Tip 1: Get clarity
OK, let’s get started:
- Put aside 5 minutes. Set a timer on your phone.
- Sit in a comfy position and daydream. Ask yourself the question “if I wasn’t scared and if I knew I couldn’t fail, who would I be? What would I be doing? What would my life actually look like?
- Visualise your ideal life. What would you do day to day? Who would you spend time with? What would your life look like? This is not a time to be practical, or be scared to dream. Imagine you could not fail. What would you do? Faces, places and activities will spring to mind. Write them down.
Next, think about the themes and identify the core values that are most important to you in your vision.
- Are you connected to nature; with your family, friend or clients?
- Are you free to make your own decisions or are you employed and in your office?
- Are you dreaming about being creative, making a difference in the world?
Think, if you could take over a billboard, thousands of people would read it every day. What would it say? This is the beginnings of your life purpose.
Lastly, and this is a very exciting exercise, imagine you are meeting your future self at a party.
- What are you like?
- How are you different?
- What’s stayed the same?
But I have such a fear of change
See part 2 for tip 2, 3,4 and 5.
Please share if this has been useful or inspiring.
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There is no such thing as perfect.
If you keep going for perfection you will never be content.