Overwhelmed? My Life Planner and 6 Top Tips could help
Overwhelmed? My Life Planner & 6 Top Tips could help
“I’ll never get this done”
“I can’t fit this all in”
“This all feels too much”
“I can’t handle this”
Sound familiar? All things we tend to think or say when we’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s a type of emotional paralysis in which you feel unable to handle or cope with your situation, and it’s all down to a lack of clarity and creates confusion and a feeling of being out of control which leads to stress and anxiety.
6 reasons you’re feeling overwhelmed
Lack of planning
When you’re wanting to change your life in any way, or just wanting to manage the life you have, it’s extremelyy easy to get up in overwhelm if you don’t have a plan to follow. Without a plan there’s little direction, and without direction you can easily get swept off course, lose sight of what’s really important and then before you know it you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Lack of Prioritisation
Not taking the time to prioritize your tasks – not dealing with the most important ones first, leaves your thoughts and actions scattered in all directions. Not only on the surface level, but if you also don’t have a sense of what’s important to you on a deeper level – what your values and life purpose are, then this also can leave you feeling rudderless and heading into overwhelm.
The deep need to do everything perfectly, to a high standard, and at high levels of production or output, leads to an often impossible expectation to meet, which often results in a general sense of anxiety, stress and overwhelm.
Because you (as do we all)have an innate drive to please others (in order to survive), you may not good at saying No. As a result you may be compelled to say yes any time someone requests your help in some way. As a result you can be left with very little time and energy for the important work and things in your life. This can keep on going until your reach breaking point and end up both stressed and overwhelmed.
Grasping for control over everything is a guaranteed way of getting into overwhelm. It comes from feeling no one else is good enough, no one else can do as good a job as you. You have a deep lack of trust in others, and end up doing it all yourself.
6 ways to beat overwhelm
Whether you’re wanting to change your life over a two year period, or change the way your day feels and goes – always plan ahead. As above in my video, focus on what you want by the end of that period, and then work backwards detailing all of the steps / goals along the way. Then yes, you can always be flexible, but you then know what you absolutely must do and by when.
Prioritise – What’s Important?
What do you absolutely need to get done today? Without priorities you can get swept up in the unimporatnt but urgent tasks, with the important ones getting shoved to the bottom of the pile – then becoming urgent – leaving you with constantly having to deal with urgent tasks – a recipe for stress and overwhelm. Break things down into smaller chunks and work on finishing each chunk at a time. Do not multi-task – it’s impossible to give your full attention and effort to everything at once (the neursocientists back me up on this one) As well as your tasks, break your week, day, and even hour up into manageable blocks of time – and then use those block to focus on specific task like emails, phone calls, writing etc.
Perfection and high expectations are a form of self-sabotage. It comes from an unrealistic expectation of yourself and stems from low self esteem. It will make you spend too much time and effort on any one thing, or over-filling of your time to get high volumes of work done – both again leading to pile up of work and a state of overwhelm. If you’re always heading for a 10 /10 maybe try an 8 and notice the difference (to you and others).
Time is your most precious commodity. It is your only non-renewable resource. Decide what and who is important to you. Decide how you really want your life to be and what you want to have in it, and create non-negotiable boundaries around them. Before you say Yes to someone, pause. Every time you’re saying yes to something know that you are inherently saying No to something else. If you find it difficult saying No to anyone and everyone, or maybe just particular people (and there are people who are particularly adept at disrespecting people’s boundaries), give yourself the get-out line “let me check my diary and get back to you”. And when you do go to see if you can fit it in, remember – you’ll never get that time back. Delegate / Ask for help Yes you can absolutely do it all – and if you’re reading this you know where that ends. So bite the bullet and ask for help. You will absolutely be amazed at who is willing or who actually wants to help you (when someone helps you they actually get a triple dose of the feel good hormones dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin – so you are actually doing them a favour if that helps). And delegate wherever possible. Yes I’m sure you can do everything really well, but how much of your energy does it take? Who could do it quicker (and dare I say, better) than you? Some people are a wiz with technology / writing/ admin / social media etc. and could take a fraction of the time and energy it takes you. Think about what doing those tasks costs you – both in time and energy, and in lost opportunities and experience (and well being). And lastly…. Treat overwhelm as a message – telling you to slow down, telling you to question what is really important to you, and getting you to take a different course (because this one clearly isn’t working for you). If you have found this article useful please share, thank you.
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There is no such thing as perfect.
If you keep going for perfection you will never be content.