Stress, tiredness, burn-out and anxiety are all issues I am seeing a lot of right now – with both my private and my corporate clients. And the number one reason is that they are all not taking good care of themselves. AKA putting your oxygen mask on first before you help others. So if this is something you struggle with doing – and especially if you do it for everyone else above yourself – read on for my top three tips on essential self-care.
Back to Basics
I am talking about the big three – exercise, sleep and nutrition. Seriously, if you do not take care of these three basics, you are going to suffer – you are literally going to run out of oxygen and end up on the floor (I know, I’ve been there). And then who will you be able to help?
And just a nod towards your ‘guilt’ sabotaging voice here (the one that tells you its bad to do this, it’s selfish, its a luxury, you need to look after others first, you have to be kind, be generous etc). This is not a selfish act. When we take care of ourselves, when we have a full tank, we are able to give so much more to everyone else.
So I hear the guilt line going on in your head and I’m here to tell you that listening to that voice does not serve you or anyone else in your life. When you are running on empty no-one is getting the best of you. And when you do consistently run on empty there will be physical, mental, emotional and spiritual consequences. By making sure you get enough sleep, by exercising and nourishing your body, you are ensuring (and insuring) that on a daily basis you can mentally and physically perform at your best.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, the care of yourself first.
Block off time in your calendar
If it’s not scheduled it’s just not happening. This is an issue for us all – it’s just how our brain works – if we don’t schedule in our exercise if we don’t set an alarm to get to bed early (and up the next morning for a run) if we don’t set aside time to buy in the right foods, it will all get sidelined by the day to day tasks in hand.
So make it a priority, once you’ve decided what you need to take care of – whether its more sleep, more (or any) exercise or counteracting that 3 pm sugar drop with some nutritious snacks, schedule in the time to do it. And make these time slots non-negotiable.
Or as I say to my corporate clients “Make yourself your No 1 client”. Protect those slots with your life, and whatever happens, do not give them up. During those blocks of time, if you have the three basics handled, or for when you do, you can start adding in time for any other kind of rejuvenating activity – that could be just sitting quietly for 10 minutes – giving that brain a rest, listing to music, reading an inspiring book, or enjoying a funny TV show – whatever helps you recharge.
Just say ‘NO”
Now I know this can be the toughest step of all, but saying YES to everything, putting others’ needs first – above yours – is the most common cause I see for people heading to exhaustion, and finally burnout.
If this is an issue for you, and it is for most of us who either wasn’t taught how to state what is and is not OK with us, or who were actually taught to put ourselves last, or who had our needs ignored, then this is a great one to practice.
Start with someone easy, someone who said NO to would be no big deal. Or if you love a challenge go straight for the people you struggle most with saying NO to. Notice how it feels. Notice what it gives you.
And notice their reaction. If you don’t start saying NO – and carving out some essential – yes essential time to take care of yourself – you will have nothing left in the tank – and then whose going to take care of everything, and everyone else? (I know, I’m repeating myself here – but that guilt can be very strong on this one).
In conclusion, As with anything you want to change in your life it is a two-part process – Awareness + Action. So if you do want (or feel you need) to improve your self-care, for the next two weeks deciding on what you are going to do, block it off in your calendar (with alerts if necessary), and do it consistently for the next two weeks. I would love to hear what you are committing to in the comments box below. Thanks for your time.
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