IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE?
It’s natural and normal to reflect on your life, and sometimes big life events such as key birthdays or milestones make you do this more, encouraging you to question what you’re doing and why.
Hopefully, you feel pretty content and happy with where you are and where you’re going. However, when you are forced to stop and think, a feeling of uneasiness can emerge. Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions: How did I end up here? What am I doing with my life? Is this all there is?
I’ve Been Coaching Since 2008. Since then, every single one of my clients has said at least one of these things during our very first meeting. Either they’ve been feeling like this for a couple of years, or something big has happened in their life which has forced them to question everything.
They’re usually at a point where circumstances seem to have come to a head when they can no longer tolerate what their life or current situation has become when they feel a bit lost or despondent, or they’ve lost their spark but don’t really know why or what to do about it. They want more than ‘this’; they feel their life has no meaning, but don’t actually know what could bring them more of a sense of satisfaction and joy.
IS THIS YOU?
- You’ve got it all, but you feel empty, unhappy and directionless.
- You’ve overachieved your whole life but are finding it hard to think about what comes next.
- You’re going through the motions of living the life you’ve built, but you’re no longer taking any joy from it.
- You don’t feel like you’ve truly achieved your full potential.
Everything you are feeling is absolutely normal. Everything you are struggling with and feel hopeless about is a part of human psychological development. Psychologists refer to it as individuation or self-actualization.
Whatever you want to call it, it amounts to the same thing: a drive or need to become our true selves – who we truly are when we are performing at our full potential, and using our own natural set of talents and abilities versus what we have been told or ‘conditioned’ to believe.
Some believe that it’s a natural drive within us – to want more meaning in life; some believe it is a need that develops once our material needs have been met, when we naturally want to have more meaning and purpose in our lives. I believe it’s a mixture of both – both a natural drive and something that happens when you have all of the things you’ve been striving for.
IF YOU DON’T START CHANGING THINGS, WHERE WILL YOU BE?
If you don’t know or understand what’s going on beneath the surface, this is the point at which a sense or feeling of ‘crisis’ occurs. This is when you see people trying to ‘fix’ themselves to make themselves feel better, or trying to suppress their feelings of confusion and malaise by external means.
This is the time at which people typically move house or area, leave their long-term partners (and yes often have affairs with a younger/more successful/better-looking version of their partner), or dive further into their careers – all in the hope that they might regain that sense of satisfaction and joy they once felt.
WAKING UP
I think it’s time to rebrand the ‘midlife crisis’. I like to call it ‘waking up’, and I see this as a completely positive life stage to go through. Or rather it can be. If you know what’s going on under the surface. If you use this time in your life to question, re-evaluate, and do some challenging work around redesigning your life the way you really want it to be, you will get to enjoy many more fulfilling years.
This is when people come to me for coaching. My guess is that this is why you are reading this. You know that things just don’t feel right, your unhappy and you just don’t know what you do want, or you do know deep down, but just don’t feel it’s possible.
Well, I’m here to tell you the same. You can absolutely change your future. You do not need to be one of those people – you do have a choice. It’s my life purpose to show you that there is a different way to live, and that it can be exactly how you want it to be.
Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions: Is what you are doing right now, and the path you’re on, it for you? Is what you are doing right now fulfilling? Does your life bring you joy? Are you living the dreams and goals you had as a teenager or in your early 20s; has it all panned out as you imagined?
My guess is not, and my guess is that deep down you know there must be more, or at least you hope there is. Even on a day-to-day basis – is this really how you want to be living your life – for the next 20, 30 or 40 years?
Need help redesigning your life + career? There are a few ways I can do that
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- To get clear on what you do and don’t want in your life + career moving forward, get my book Change Your Life in 5 for free now (just pay P+P). Click here
- Ready to get unstuck in just one hour – and moving forward into the next phase of your life? Book a power-hour Reset Session with me now click here
- If you’re ready to do more in-depth or longer-term work on redesigning your life + career, I’ve opened up a few slots for working with me 1-1. Book your free Discovery Call with me by clicking here and find out how I can help.
- If you are interested in Leadership (including remote leadership) + Executive Coaching for you or your team, find out more about my unique Conscious Leader programme by clicking here
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